A trip to the Fair...

Oh about 30 years ago (yes, hard to believe, but I am that old), I last went to the David County Fair. I had entered a latch hook yarn picture and won a ribbon. When I picked up my picture, I was absolutely thrilled to learn they paid cash money for ribbon winners. Who knew? It wasn't much. Probably not even enough to pay for the latch hook kit (which my mom paid for anyway), but still it was like winning the lottery to me. Back then, the fair was at Lagoon (think Six Flags amusement park, but smaller and less interesting). It has since moved and grown (haven't we all?).

This year, my dad painted a few pictures and had submitted them. Both pictures won ribbons. I knew he had been taking art classes, but didn't realize anything had materialized from them. While growing up, he painted a bit, but hadn't ever submitted to a fair for judging purposes. I was impressed with the pictures. Far better than my latch hook. I've included them here, so take a look.
While at the fair, my mom wanted to see the alligator show. Have you been to one? While I'll admit to enjoying it more than I thought I would, to get a good seat, we sat in the sun (without Kool-Aid refreshment, I might add) for a very long time; the last 15 minutes of which being blasted by country music. Apparently, they wanted people in the next county to feel bad for missing the show. I still hear "My achy-breaky heart" at the most inappropriate moments. Who sings such nonsense? And who likes it enough to validate blowing my eardrums out. It has been a week and I've washed, but think I haven't quite managed to get the "redneck" off.
I took a few videos with my camera. If you listen with the volume at 100%, realizing my camera microphone sucks, you may get a hint for what meant about the sound system. There it is again, "achy breaky heart..." Damn. I suggest adjusting the sound to about 25%.



After the alligator show, we watched Rebecca ride a horse. I wanted a ride as well, but the horse just looked at me and said, "Pleeeese noooo" with his shanking head and fearful "Nay." Check out Rebecca's cool new glasses and haircut. She turns 6 next Wednesday. Boy, how time flies. In the video, (again, I suggest 25% sound) I get Rebecca to waive. While this may not seem like a bad idea and I wasn't trying to cause a problem, other children had been scolded sternly by the horse handlers for not holding tight with both hands. I consider rules that don't suit my particular artistic interests to be more of a suggestion. They didn't want to be sued if a child should fall off. For the record, I'm not encouraging rampant rule-breaking or promoting the endangerment of children.



And finally, we went to the petting zoo portion of the fair. Yes, it smelled something fierce and awful all rolled together. I'll include pictures of Rebecca milking a cow and my mom touching the horn of a very large long-horn bull. I touched it as well, but my camera batteries didn't last that long.
I did get to touch a cow. (Remember the camera adds about 85 pounds) This may satisfy my cow touching quota usually filled at the Utah State Fair (which opens in about three weeks).
I also touched this big fella, but I don't have photographic evidence. Yes, since you probably wondered, I did caress the hump, but not in a sick or twisted way. Everyone was doing it. =)

Obama: Predjudice has no place...

President Obama gave this speech to the NAACP. I feel that he is the first president in a long time who "gets it." I love that he admits there is less discrimination now than ever in this country, which I also believe, but that there is discrimination and prejudice even in 2009. There is not place for such in the United States of America, or anywhere for that matter. It is not right to treat anyone differently because of the color of their skin, who they pray to, whether they buy or make tacos on the corner, or who they love.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Children of the Corn

WELCOME TO WESTFEST 2009

WestFest is our annual celebration that commemorates
the establishment of West Valley City and recognizes
its citizen's various cultural backgrounds.

---------------------

The above information was listed on the official web site for WestFest (http://www.westfest.org/westfest2009.html). In addition to the fireworks, there are carnival rides (which I NEVER ride on for lack of trust in their safety regulations. Don't want to be the next victim on those "Tragedy Caught on Camera" television shows.), local entertainment and both food and retail vendors. Essentially, it is a scaled-down version of the State Fair without the cows. I've been attending WestFest every year since moving down the street nearly seven years ago and semi-regularly before then when my brother lived downt the street in the opposite direction. This is not to brag, but I know what I'm talking about when it comes to WestFest. You could call me a WestFexpert, but I wish you wouldn't.

To support the local community, I went after work on opening night. As I approached the first talent stage, I could hear the musical styling of Josiah Barlow. He was a solo act on stage with just an electric piano. The music was a beautiful mix of non-verbal classical and contemporary sounds that reminded me of listening to a movie score. Not bad for a West Valleyite. He was really attractive, which only added to my entertainment pleasure. Sorry, but wishing I had brought my camera did not generate one photo. I enjoyed his music so much that when he said a particular song had been dedicated last year to his unborn child and how he wanted to now re-dedicate it to his baby who was here to enjoy it just before her first birthday, I didn't cringe in the remorse of crushed fantasy, nor did I whisper, "Damn Breeder" under my breath. He was really good and suggested I (meaning an invitation to the crowd) buy a CD. Wish I had, frankly, but I couldn't stay until the end of the show (my e-crops were about to wilt, but that is another story). Really good and the music varied in style.

I left Josiah with one more empty chair in a sea of unfulfilled expectation, wondering why more people hadn't cared enough to come out to see him play. My hunger from not having eaten all day quelled my guilt and I toddled off toward the food vendors. Mistake # 1. I should have stayed. Vendors selling carnival-type food from pizza, cotton candy, BBQ, slushy fruit drinks lined two sides of a tent with tables and chairs. One such booth sold hot dogs, hamburgers and corn dogs. Love me a good corn dog at the Fair, so I stopped, which proved to be mistake # 2. When I saw the corn dogs were the same Foster Farms corn dogs I sometimes buy at Wal Mart with the exception that these people planned to deep fry them in luke-warm grease instead of a hot grease-free oven, I chose the cheeseburger instead. $7 for a cold "let's hope this is meat" patty with a slice of cheese on a bun. No lettuce, tomato, pickles. They gave me some off-name mayo and catsup packets, some fries cooked in the same luke-warm grease and a Dr. Pepper (the only part of the "meal" I enjoyed).

As this was getting later in the evening, WestFest traffic was very light. I thought about heading back to Josiah, but didn't want to juggle the plate in my lap. Mistake # 3. I sat in the tables in the middle of the booths and tried to quickly swallow the most expensive regret I've had in a long while. The food was bad enough to make me completely re-think the idea of supporting the community. But wait, there's more. Instead of being deep within the booth as the two culinary criminals were before my poorly thought out purchase, the one thing that could have made the experience worse happened. All memory of daylight had slipped behind the western sky and the light in the tent above my table illuminated the scene with what felt like a spot light. Suddenly my eating disaster became every one's business. Luckily, the only two who cared to watch (more like stare with utter fascination) were the two who sold me the gruel. They had come out of their booth and planted themselves in front staring straight ahead at me. One sat. One stood. Once positioned, their bodies never moved. Their heads did not turn, nor, for all I could tell, did their eyes blink. It was seriously creepy. An image from the horror film, "Children of the Corn" came to mind, though I only saw the trailer. I thought about shoving the food back in their faces and demanding a refund, but it was carnival food, so what did I expect? Of course, what had seemed lack-luster in all the other booths just moments before suddenly looked like gold covered in chocolate.


Note to the Corn Children: Were you staring to see if I would actually eat that crap you made me pay so much for? When I finished it, did one of you win a bet? Were you just amazed that someone actually ate your food without throwing up? Maybe it would improve your sales if you didn't come across as demon children. At least have the decency to look away when people struggle to put down the last bite. You may have seen a calm fat gay man on a rickety chair enjoying your fabulous creation. From MY side of the table, it felt like an eating scene from Fear Factor with a side order of evil.

We're ready for your close up, Mr. Kotter

Cue the theme song music, "Welcome back...Welcome back...Welcome back..."



Growing up, I was a fat adult in training and as such, watched my share of television. Even as old as I have recently become, I can still sing pieces (never the whole) of theme songs ranging from the Love Boat, Laverne and Shirley, Beverly Hillbillies, Happy Days, All in the Family, The Jeffersons, and, of course, Welcome Back, Kotter. Watching a young John Travolta in tight jeans and hippie hair was always a thrill to a deeply closeted boy, but I digress.

This blog was created about 15 months ago and has been something I have really enjoyed. Writing is a passion I never seem to find time or enough concentration for and this blog was a convenient avenue to pop on and share my thoughts. I regularly featured stories about me, about me as Shirley D. Licious at Cyber-Slut Bingo and about my family, especially my niece, Rebecca, with whom I used to share regular interaction with.

In the fall of 2008, however, as the fight for California's Prop 8 started, as a member of the gay community whose rights (future, though they may be) were indirectly being debated, I felt an obligation to voice my opinion and help educate some of the well-meaning, but ignorant people. My theory was that many supporters who actually read my blog may have blindly followed an anti-gay position without realizing their actions (direct donations or otherwise) were hurting someone they knew and loved. Many homosexuals I know are afraid to stand up and be counted. Without the world knowing I'm here and I deserve the same rights as everyone else, how can the law makers know how important this issue is? For this reason, I do not shrink down and cower back into the closet just because others may not agree with my being gay. I did NOT choose to be gay and honestly ask who would? As many can attest, it is not easy to be part of a minority (especially here in Utah), but that does not change the fact that I am gay. To the surprise of some, being gay is not all about sex with other boys. Even if I never touched another man sexually again, I would still be gay. The straight community sometimes doesn't realize there is more to a person than what they do with their poles and holes. If anything, sex among gay people is the ONLY thing we have in common with straight people. If you need further explanation, let me know. I'll be glad to draw you a picture.

When I started adding news stories to the blog that either enraged or excited me about the ignorance/open mindedness some influential people were demonstrating, a very negative, and frankly surprising, response happened both on the blog and off. I do not expect everyone to agree with all of my views, but I do hope they will read them with an open mind. Just because something has been done a certain way for a very long time does not make it right. Discrimination on any level is bad. My blog generated a level of hate and treachery very close to home that scared me. True colors were flown for the first time in the decade since I first came out. The blind ignorance some insist on despite blatant evidence to the contrary is nothing short of baffling.

With this very ugly reaction to my blog, I purposefully slowed down and then stopped posting all together a few months ago. Well, I'm back, Mr. Kotter. I'm back. Part of my 2009-2010 birthday "to-do" list is to become much more prolific in the pen (or keyboard) and to hopefully be published soon. Can't promise every day, but I can promise to be brutally honest with a sense of personification. If I feel passionate about something, you can be sure to read about it here. I encourage feedback, both positive and negative. I encourage open communication and feel the world would be a much better place if secrets and lies were brought out in to the open. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.

March Madness with the Utah Cyber-Sluts

l-r Katherine Heartburn, Lucky Charms, Shaneeda Derriere, Madame Fonda Dixx, Chevy Suburban and yes, Miss Shirley D. Licious. The two in front are not sluts, if anyone wondered. They are representatives of the Utah Lupus Foundation, the charity for March's Gay Bingo. This month's theme: Mardi Gras.

Bingo with the Utah Cyber-Sluts is never boring. It is riotous fun that usually leaves me exhausted with throbbing legs and feet for days, but I don't care. It is good for me to get off the couch and help with such a worthy group. Much of the pain is probably due to the shoes that have become a Shirley D. Licous staple, if not tradition: Pink jewel-encrusted flip-flops from the Wal-Mart store. They are the only piece of the wardrobe that hasn't changed in the months since last July when I first joined the ranks of the Sluts.

For those who need a reminder, the Utah Cyber-Sluts are a bunch of guys who dress up in campy drag to raise money for charity. Half of the money raised goes to support the Utah Pride Center and the other half for a designated charity. March's charity was the Lupus Foundation, a cause that has personally touched my family. Pictured above with the sluts is the Lupus Foundation representatives. We raised a record $3,000 in one night. Any way you split it, that is a lot of cash. When compounded by the dire economic times the world is currently facing, the feat becomes astounding.

In the past year I have been attending (before becoming a slut) and participating (as a slut), thousands and thousands of dollars have been raised for charities like AIDS research, the Lupus Foundation of Utah, No-more Homeless Pets and the Children's Box House. Some of my friends and family have been critical of this venture because they say it is just wrong for men to dress up in women's clothes regardless of the good that may come of it. Although my family members may personally benefit from the money raised last Friday night, it was very disheartening to hear they would never consider attending. Well, to hell with them. Being a Cyber-Slut is something that I'm very proud of.

It is not easy (the above mentioned flip-flops are easily four sizes too small and hurt, not to mention the looks on people's faces as I ask for help in picking out a bra or in finding just the right shade of lipstick), but when it comes down to it, I'm willing to put all of my personal inhibitions aside, grab my girdle by the bootstraps (has there ever been anything less comfortable, except maybe a corset?) and become Shirley D. Licious on the 2nd Friday of each month. Here, I am showin' a little leg and asking, "Who's yo' mamma?"

Part of the success of Shirley D. Licious has been the support of my friends. Lynda and Paul have been encouraging me from nearly day one. Their word of mouth now requires them to reserve at least one full table (think ward dinner size) and sometimes two. They are both amazing. Lynda takes charge of my camera during bingo and has taken most of these shots. Thanks, Lynda and Paul. You guys are incredible.
This was Marilee's first time to bingo. She fit right in and had a blast. Here she is posing with Miss Chevy Suburban, one of the most experienced sluts around. Before the night was over, she and the others were planning their costume for next month's pajama party themed bingo.

Turns out, Marilee is quite the boob squeezer. The rule with the sluts is that they can squeeze ours only if we get to squeeze theirs. Fortunately for me (and Marilee), boobs scare me, so I didn't return the favor. Marilee is no longer a bingo virgin, and I think that's awesome!!!

This is a shot of the bingo table with some of the prizes. I like this picture because it shows my bingo example board. I made it a few months ago so no one would be confused about what game we are playing. The bright pink circles can easily be seen from the back of the room. Here, for those of you not familiar with bingo, the board is demonstrating a picture frame. =) And yes, even with the board, someone called BINGO with just a horizontal row. That, also for those who may not be familiar, is what constitutes a party foul.

In the short video clip, (yes a bit boring in the middle) is someone in the stage audience (did I mention record attendance of just under 300 people?) getting a party foul. Not only do they get to wear the wig of shame and later dance through the audience for money, they were "boo'd" off the stage. Our stage audience was so enthusiastic. Although last month included our first nudity (Michael slipped his boxers off as I rushed through the curtain), this was the first time I've seen boy-boy kissing. There was no question a good many of the stage audience boys were going to get laid later, but that is a different story.

Bottom line: I'm very proud of my work as Shirley D. Licious. If you don't accept that I'm gay or that I dress in women's clothes to raise money for charity, then to hell with you. But, if you like to have fun and it becoming a little naughty (no, not raunchy) while doing it, then please come to next month's bingo: April 10th 7:00 PM at the Columbus Community Center in South Salt Lake (400 East and 25th South). We'd love to see you there. I suggest coming early.

A Day on the Farm

On Friday last week, my five year old niece, Rebecca, called and invited me to her house for a game night. We used to get together at least weekly for games and activities throughout much of her youth, but that changed when her family moved to Layton (33 miles each way, which is a lot of gas when finding an extra $5 for a prescription at the Smith's store is frequently too much). The whole blow up about Prop 8 and Equality Utah's Common Ground Initiatives in the Legislature didn't help either, but that is not the focus here. The point is, Rebecca had issued an "Operation and Candy Land Throw Down" and as I had been "served," I simply couldn't stay home.

Being clever as I try to be, though usually unsuccessful, I arranged for the whole party to "go down" at my brother's house instead of my sister's. This allowed us to include my niece, Londyn (age 3), in the games and to see my newest niece, Irelynd (yes, they are saving Antarctyca for their next baby).

The kids were super cute. It ended up that Operation (the original plan for the evening) was shelved because Londyn didn't like the loud noises it made (the new version has the guy sneezing at the most inappropriate times just to throw you off. When I played it with Rebecca at the New Year's party, it was not long before I wanted to throw the whole game into the dumpster.). We did play Candy Land (Londyn won) and Hi Ho Cherrio where I was the victor. Rebecca didn't care. She was more interested in just spending time with all of us, though she was already planning a rematch before the night was over.

For Christmas, I gave Rebecca a set of hand puppets and a stage from IKEA (LOVE that store). This was my first time to see the puppets in action, though it was Londyn and not Rebecca who had the most fun with it. The puppets are a pig, frog, chicken, horse, cow and a lamb. There were also a collection of safari finger puppets. Not sure at this point which pictures will make the cut. They were all cute, but Londyn stole the show.

Winter, winter...

From these pictures, it is hard to believe Peter Cottontail is fluffing up his tail and getting ready for his big hop. This March storm came in just long enough to clutter up the morning commute and dumping a couple of inches; most of which landed on my front stairs.

The pictures don't really give it justice, but every branch and twig from the surrounding trees and bushes was covered with a delicate layer of snow. It was truly beautiful. The wonderful thing about March snow storms is they don't last very long and the snow melts quickly. Case in point, I was thrilled when I returned home that night to see my stairs clear without my having to shovel them. YEA!!!

Tomorrow is supposed to be another spring storm. At last watch of the local news report (KSL, not those other amateur channels), the clouds and accompanying cold front were on the Utah/Idaho boarder with snow already starting in Logan and rain in Wendover. Yup, it should hit during the night just in time to clutter up another commute. And considering tomorrow will be the first commute since Daylight savings time kicked in, I'd better leave plenty early to allow time for the extra high number of "Grumpy Gerts" on the road. I'd say something about them being a menace, but I'm afraid I'm probably one of them. When some goof cuts me off, I'll just calm myself by thinking back on how beautiful the snow covered twigs and branches looked (truly one of my favorite sights), then cuss her out like a sailor in heat.

Some February Lovin' from Miss Shirley D. Licious...

February 13th was the latest excursion for Miss Shirley D. Licious of the Utah Cyber-Sluts. Our charity bingo night was to raise funds for the Children's Box House, which I believe is similar to the Ronald McDonald House. It was also my good friend Paul's birthday. He asked that I not embarrass him by mentioning it was his birthday to the other sluts. Paul and Lynda's support is invaluable on bingo night and throughout the month, so I held my tongue. Paul was nice enough to allow a couple of pictures together. Here, you'll notice the lovely red heart necklace my friend, Dixie, let me borrow (Thanks, Dixie) and how horrible the makeup turned out. Well, to be fair, the make up was fine until the flood of sweat washed it away. Not sure if it was just Shirley going through "the change with a wicked hot flash, or if the velvet dress in the blazing inferno of a community center contributed. I'm pretty sure I lost 3 pounds in sweat that night.
In the end, it was announced that we had raised $1,775 and donations as people left were suggested to help them "round up" to $1,800. Total donations came to $2,175, which made us very happy.


This is Fonda Dixx. She is doing an awesome job as current Madame. LOVE the hair.


The picture is dark, but I'm calling a bingo game. Actually, a really cute guy had just stood up to spin without raising his hands over his head or doing the "jazz hands" effect. Considering the prize he was about to win was valued at nearly $100, I had to stop the show and make him spin again. Jazz hands, dammit, are required. Oh, and I called him a bitch for resisting, which went over well with the crowd.


Party fouls have become SO much fun. This guy is a really good sport about them, often getting multiple fouls in one night. Here he is wearing the pink "Marge Simpson" wig of shame, which is so nasty I don't even like to carry the thing to the offender's head let alone wear it. Not sure, but his frequent offenses may have something to do with his idea that people can only donate by shoving the dollar bills in his pants instead of his hands. More than a couple went in for change. We don't require that, but damn, if it didn't make some wonderful eye candy. Yum.

Another of our "regulars" was slow cookin' the pizza and we had to strip him down. Sorry gay guys and ladies, but I did not get pictures of that. The mental image of his nice ass has been enough to keep me satisfied for over a week now. So, use your imagination and you are probably close. He was a good sport, which we as sluts really appreciate.


This is Katherine Heartburn being as fabulous as ever. I love the shiny dot sparkling through from her boob. That and the hair. LOVE the hair.


This is the night before. My boy, G, is taking the picture and enjoying the show. November's fiasco taught me the value of a "dry run" to make sure I had all the costume pieces together. I didn't bother with the stockings or flip/flops, but the rest was pretty much spot on. The lovely handbag was donated by my good friend Pati. It is black velvet to match my exquisite dress. Thanks, Pati.


Here I am trying to add volume to the wig with hairspray and my trusty comb. Next month, I need serious help with my hair and make-up.

Shirley and her groupies. This was Jaime and Pati's first time, Sanna's second and I can't even count how many times Lynda has come. Each month more and more people from work hear how much fun it is and they make plans to come. Our group already fills one long table. Getting there early is no longer optional to get a seat.

Here is another picture with Paul; this time more of a full length view. It kind of looks like a pant-suit combo, but no. It was a long, luxurious black velvet dress with a fabulous sparkle top accented by a barrage of red feathers, sparkle glasses, heart earrings and a heart necklace. Down below, you can barely see the red/black stripe stockings and, unfortunately, can not see the jewel-encrusted pink flip-flops from the Walmart store that have become a staple in Shirley's wardrobe. Hair design by my good friend, Pati.

Next month's bingo will be on Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM. Columbus Community Center. Our new sponsor, Overstock.com, will be bringing the prizes and funds raised will support the Lupus Foundation of Utah. Theme: Mardi Gras. I went shopping yesterday for beads and love them so much that I just couldn't resist. Even though today is another "naked Sunday," it is technically "naked Sunday with beads. Hope to see all of you next month.

Which one are you?

This cartoon was passed around work the other day and it made me laugh and then made me wonder. The poor swimmer thinks he is going to help someone and will soon find he has been deceived and will himself need assistance.

Those sharing a certain circumstance with me will understand when I say we feel like the swimmer carrying on dangerously close to a situation we will not approve of later. Those in another circumstance with me just now will understand how I feel a bit like the shark or others may say the proverbial spider to the fly. I won't bore you with the details of either as it may incriminate me and/or those I associate with. But, you know who you are and none of this should be a mystery. So, please enjoy the cartoon as much as I did.

Celebrate love wherever it is found...

A Valentine's Day wish from Suze Orman

Schadenfreude

This video was passing around work yesterday and I just couldn't help but laugh and say, "Holy Crap" except I didn't say crap. So much for good Samaritans. Sometimes work pressures and money woes make a good laugh as valuable as gold. I really needed this laugh when it came.

The Germans have a word to describe my taking pleasure at this guy's misfortune: Schadenfreude. I was first introduced to that word by listening to the soundtrack to the Broadway musical, Avenue Q (track 16)
.

Even though Avenue Q robbed Wicked of the Best Musical Tony award, meaning I'll be forever bitter, I would still like to see it some day. It deals with a lot of real-life issues in blunt ways others merely cower at like Schadenfreude, masturbation and internet porn, everyone being a little bit racist, the sensuality of aging strippers and people you love who turn out to be complete bastards. The fine people who bring Broadway to Salt Lake have commented that this show is to adult in nature for the local audience. The same thing robbed us of the touring Sweeney Todd last year for the awful Annie (remember my review about fat orphans and wrinkled sets?). So, if any of you would like to go to New York or another city not afraid to grab its balls and admit they have people who would like to see such a such, let me know.

From the bottom of the Hudson...

These are four of about 25 shots emailed to me about the recent efforts to raise the downed airplane from the bottom of the Hudson River.


The water is a nasty shade of brown that I really hope is just from all the stirred up sediment. Some of the later shots that didn't make the cut showed huge ice chunks floating in the river. Going down in the river and then having to stand out on the wing waiting for rescue while hoping the boat arrived before the plane sunk must have been terrifying. The fact that no one was killed simply amazes me. The pilot and crew did an incredible job thinking fast under pressure. No wonder they were honored at the recent inauguration and at the Super Bowl yesterday. It would have been nice to also see a picture of the people all standing on the wing, but these pictures came about the plane's recovery. I'm sure a Google search would provide you the rescue pictures if you'd like.

I am reminded of the time just over 10 years ago now when my parents and I went to Hawaii. By the time the safety announcement had gotten to the point of saying, "A portion of this flight may be over water" I had already watched the friendly, safe shores of California slip away. I'm thankful we didn't have to go through what those passengers did, and even more thankful to not have been eaten by a shark. This won't stop me from flying as I have friends now in Germany that I'd really like to see again. On the contrary, it gives me hope and faith. The talented pilot and crew took care of this set of passengers, just as I would trust my future captains and flight crew to take care of me. Not every plane that crashes kills everyone. That is a myth. In some circumstances, death can't be avoided and if I'm ever on one of those flights, let's hope the end comes quickly. This is an example of where we need to trust in the bigger picture; trusting that we may not always be in control, but accepting the outcome all the same. As we never know when our end will come, I at least plan to work a little harder to make the time I've been given more valuable and rewarding; rewarding to me if not to everyone else as well.

Switching to all Digital.

This sure feels like me when something goes wrong and I can't just push the start button. Internet and computer savvy as far as they have "dumbed" down the technology. Luckily, I have satellite television (hooked up by someone else), so this won't happen to me in a few weeks.

Did Mormons go too far?

Activists claim that money from the Mormon Church was the deciding factor in passing Proposition 8 in California - banning gay marriage. The church claims to have only spent a few thousand dollars on the campaign, but ANP has uncovered evidence that may expose a gaping hole in that claim.

What About Gay Marriage?

Prayers for Bobby

This is the trailer for the upcoming made-for-television movie, Prayers for Bobby, on Lifetime, January 24th. This is an important film that I would love for me entire family to watch with me. Consider this an open invitation to them and to any friends who would like to see it as well. I'll bring the pizza and root beer and of course the Lifetime. I'll confirm the time and update the post. Hope to see you there.

Love is not a hollow, empty word, but rather one of active caring.

Cheese Balls with Shei

Anyone who knows me with any degree of accuracy is well aware of my LOVE for what I refer to as "Cheese Balls." Technically they are called "Fried Macaroni and Cheese," but that is not near as fun to say as "Cheese Balls." My good friend, Josh, introduced me to these gooey balls of heaven a couple of years ago. For me, it was love at first bite.

Since that time, I haven't been able to get enough and frequently make excuses to go get them at TGI Friday's. Other places have offered something similar on their menu, but most just can't get it right. The horrible aftertaste from (BLANK's) attempt just celebrated 15 month anniversary. I'm not sure they have ever changed the oil. =0

My job involves working with a team in Manila we lovingly refer to as the PHLRO SSG. The past few weeks, their team manager, Shei (short for Sheila) has been visiting our office in Salt Lake. We had a chance to take her out to dinner and guess where I suggested? You know it. They have five TGI Friday's in the Philippines, but I'm not sure if they have a different menu. Now that Shei has tasted the awesome power of the cheese ball, she has offered to check out one of the local Friday's to see if cheese balls are available. Carl, the PHLRO team's representative homosexual, has invited me for a visit. Seeing Carl and the others on the team would be nice, going all that way would turn from great to wonderful if I could have me some cheese balls.


The only exception to my rule about liking cheese balls at some place other than Friday's is at The Cheesecake Factory. They offer a unique take on the classic in that instead of seven balls, they give only four, but they are each quite large. The four baseball sized orbs are encased in a crust of Parmesan cheese and come sitting in a creamy marinara sauce that is simply to die for. If you like your cheese balls with alcohol as I do (see below) and you are at the Factory in Salt Lake, remember to go after noon as they remember where they put the keys to the bar about that time. Dumb ass Utah drinking laws. God, don't get me started. Ok, now I'm started. With the exception of Bud Light Lime, which is delicious, Utah 3.2 beer tastes like horse piss (yes, and don't ask). Real men (the kind I'm attracted to) drink German beer that is easily twice that strength.

This is a picture of me being fat and happy. I have a cheese ball in one hand and a mudslide in the other. Mudslides, for those who do not know, are AWESOME! It is basically a chocolate milkshake (complete with ice cream) with a nice blend of alcohol that I'm pretty sure includes Bailey's Irish Cream Whiskey. Oh My God!!! Having the two is like a little piece of heaven on earth. The only thing that could top the experience is two orders of cheese balls and another round of drinks. Some sort of margarita is being enjoyed by someone in the picture, but I prefer the full dosage of fat the ice cream and deep fried goodness offer. Getting drunk is not required to enjoy cheese balls. Indeed, I have had them both buzzed and with root beer. But, given the chance, a nice frosty mudslide on the side is the way to go.

Anyone want to go for cheese balls? I'm game. Of course, you may need to drive me home (I do not condone drinking and driving), but being the designated driver can have its benefits, especially if you are a cute boy. =) Enjoy.

Gay Marriage Debate: Jon Stewart vs Mike Huckabee

A day at the zoo

The IHG summer party was held, well, a few months ago in the summer. =) These past few months have really slipped by quickly. It was a really fund day with my family. Due to a twist of fate, I was able to bring a few that rarely get to do fun things with me and my "regular" groupies.

This rattle snake was HUGE. I just kept thinking about Harry Potter and how I hope everyone around us was a Muggle. For those who know me, I have a very strong fear of snakes. While that is true in EVERY sense of the word, I also hold a bizarre fascination with them. So, a trip to the zoo would not be complete without a visit to the reptile house, even though the smell inside that building is so foul that long-term exposure would probably be toxic. Seriously, OPEN A WINDOW. They have a tropical atrium area where birds fly freely and their excuse is that the birds would fly out an open window. One word solution: SCREENS. It is quite possible that building hasn't been properly ventilated since I was a kid nearly four decades ago. Hopefully, the money they will now collect as a result of the recent election can help make my mandatory visit to the snake house less than a miserable experience in trying to hold my breath for an hour. Yes, I vote for the additional funding. Now let's just hope they use it responsibly.

This skeleton of a snake's head has been there creeping me out and fascinating me since I was a kid. Also of interest, though I didn't get a picture, is the Styrofoam board showing where various mounted bugs came from. I remember always wanting to move to Australia because that was the one foam piece that didn't have any bugs, at least as evidenced by their lack of colorful dots. I believe this snake head came from a python and they are showing how once you get inside their jaws, you probably aren't coming out. This alone prevents me from visiting 3/4 of the world as I don't want to get eaten whole by snakes the size of school buses. What? I saw the movie Anaconda.


Since my last visit to the zoo, they have taken out the hippopotamus building and added an old-fashioned carousel. Awesome. As you can see, even someone as big as I am could ride without fear of breaking the animals. This penguin didn't know what it was getting in for when it signed up as a carousel pole dancer, but I held on and tried to be gentle. =)

The zoo has two of these lion drinking fountains. When I was growing up, I think they only had one. It was always right outside the elephant house, which has been renovated to accommodate a bunch of monkeys and an ATM machine. Classy. The fountain still works, though. The elephants have moved to a very nice new facility that gave me quite a bit of hope regarding the (then) upcoming vote for more funding. There was a time when the zoo's management was highly criticized for the frequent deaths of many large animals (like the large polar bear, a giraffe and an elephant), and for shady business dealings regarding the construction bid process for the new entrance. Things look quite positive at the zoo and I'm quite pleased IHG moved their summer party there this year. It was nice as well, because the concentration of regular people vs IHG people was fairly well balanced throughout the day, even after they were supposed to be closed to the public.





Riding the train was included with our IHG party passes. The seats were far smaller than when I was a kid, but then again, I had more hair then as well. The kids also enjoyed playing on a large playground while we enjoyed a nice sit-down chat on a bench.



The kids enjoyed playing with this water fountain of sorts. It is a big black ball with the various continents carved into it like a globe. It would spin around until the continents were no longer visible. It is located right at the front of the zoo, which made for a very convenient meeting place when some of my family had to arrive later than the rest of us.




The white Crocodile was visiting during the IHG summer party. It has since moved on to another zoo. Apparently there are only 10 or so albino crocodiles in the whole world. The amount of water being moved in this video lead me to ask an attendant if it was a water filtration system, or if the croc was doing it all. The latter was true.

Wicked Der Zauberer und ich /The wizard and I cast presentation

This is a clip of the German cast of Wicked at what looks like a press conference. Wicked opened just over a year ago in Stuttgart, Germany. I bought the German version of the soundtrack last year during my trip to see Josh. Even though I do not understand most words, it is fun to listen to and compare with the English version. Going to Stuttgart and seeing it in person is on my To Do list. Josh and I saw Mamma Mia in Essen, Germany and I was surprised at how much I understood from knowing the English version so thoroughly. If you'd like to come along for Wicked, let me know.

Prop 8 - The Musical

This made me laugh on a day that I really needed a laugh. Hope you enjoy.

(The advertisements are annoying. Sorry. I just clicked the boxes to close, but don't tell Jack Black or the fine folks at Funny of Die.)

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die