Here are a few pictures of my epic birthday celebration. Mom, Dad, my sister Michelle, her husband Dave, my niece Rebecca and I started the fun on Friday night. We started the evening with a movie remake of the 1960's popular television show, Get Smart, then dinner at the Olive Garden.
Rebecca told the waiter in her most grown up voice that she wanted spaghetti. She didn't even have to look at the menu. She specifically asked for meatballs in the spaghetti and I commented that I never take my spaghetti without them. Mom reminded Rebecca that meatballs were really cows, even demonstrating the "moo" factor, which was enough for vegetarian-wannabe Rebecca to eat all the way around the single large ball of meat.
In the musical, "Into the Woods," the Cinderella's father has a line that states, "the closer to the family, the closer to the wine." With Rebecca, the closer she realizes what she is eating comes from a cow or a chicken, the farther she will distance herself. She has been known to rip a hamburger apart and only eat the bun. Quite determined for a four year old.
In the morning, we packed for an adventure. Dad stayed home to do some covert planning (covert = sneaky. Po-tay-toe/Po-tah-toe). The rest of us met at Doug and Emmy's for their incredible scones. It was fun because Josh was planning to make scones that same day in Germany.
It was like he and the Kleinhans' were helping me celebrate from around the world. The scone and their honey butter are simply amazing. And they can't be beat for $1.79. If I could, I would stop in for a scone every morning. Of course, then I'd be even more typecast as Santa Clause than I am now and since I can't stand what Christmas has become, that will never do. Incidentally, Doug and Emmy's is next to the FrontRunner train station in Layton, Utah. Y'all should go. Tell 'em I sent ya. It won't get either of us a discount (it's a $1.79 after all), but they enjoy friendly conversation. While dining, we saw several trains pass by (both FrontRunner and regular freight trains. Rebecca is pointing to number four or five.
For the past several years, I have enjoyed a birthday adventure trip to Bear Lake. For those of you who may not be familiar, Bear Lake is a large body of water in the northeastern corner of Utah (not the northeastern part that includes Vernal. I mean the other northeastern corner of Utah.). Most the lake is in Idaho, but real people stay on the Utah side. Been to the Idaho side lately? Well, I guess you can re-apply for "real person" status. Applications for 2009 inductees will be accepted starting in September. Lol.
The water of Bear Lake has minerals suspended in it that hit the sun just right and make it look an amazing turquoise color. Unfortunately, I don't think the pictures give credit to the actual beauty of the lake. There is folklore about the Bear Lake monster, a cousin to Scotland's Loch Ness monster (or is it the same monster who swims between the two bodies of water through underground tunnels? Some say everyone needs a summer and a winter home.)
The trip is approximately 2 1/2 hours drive through beautiful mountains. On the way, we always stop at the Cox honey stand and Gossner's cheese factory in Logan. Cox Honey has samples of their various flavors (the fruity-berry variety was my favorite), though Dave ended up only buying a lot of fudge. Their salty-nut roll fudge was SO good. Yes, mom. I only had a little of the salty stuff. Their rocky road fudge was also incredible. They also enjoy friendly conversation, so if you go, tell them I sent ya'. Again, no discount for knowing me, but some times the best things are worth paying for. =)
Gossner's cheese is a replacement, which frankly fails to warrant more than a 10 minute stop. When I was a little boy, we stopped at the Cache Valley cheese factory where they had a replica of a Swiss chalet where numerous sample stations would only temporarily distract from the real adventure of seeing cheese production actually happen. I remember climbing the stairs to see the large churning machines stirring the milk round and round. That wondrous facility burned down a few years ago and Cache Valley cheese decided not to rebuild the "tourist" portion of their factory. So, we go to Gossner's cheese, which is good. It has a sample table with many different cheeses and cheese spreads. It even sells fresh ice cream. But it is just a store.
Sure, there are large windows that give a sneak peak into their factory, but I typically can only make the journey on Saturday when production has stopped. Once, when my birthday landed during the week, I saw them package large blocks of cheese into plastic, then into boxes for fermenting, but that was not near the excitement experienced
as a child when I climbed the stairs to see the large vat of milk churn round and round. Still, a trip to Bear Lake would not be complete without at least a brief stop. The cheese is incredibly fresh and their outside window design is supposed to make you believe you are in Europe. Good effort for the locals who don't know what they are missing. The same goes for the difference between Cache Valley cheese and Gossner's cheese. Most don't know what they are missing, which is sad in a whey (yes, intended).
Rendezvous Beach is possibly the only thing outside toast and fries that I love about the French. Based on the sign picture and the name, it seems possible that people for a very long time have enjoyed this beach for many the same reasons I do. Mountain men (French or otherwise) surely wouldn't have enjoyed a hot shower after body surfing in the waves of speed boats. But there are many parts of this wonderful recreation area that make an annual visit non-negotiable. When gas prices were not nearing $4.50 a gallon for the cheap stuff, we used to go up a few times during the summer. The water at that southern end of Bear Lake is very shallow, only gradually increasing in depth. It is not an exaggeration to say one could be a quarter mile or more from shore with the water only up to their chest. By that time, I usually start to panic a little because that is the point when even on tippy-toes I can't touch the bottom without waves threatening to muss up my hair. Lol.
The shallow water also means it is much warmer than the rest of the lake. The sun has an easier time of
ordering the molecules around or some other silly nonsense. Either way, I just love to go body surf and float around on my inflatable chair.
This year, we forgot the electronic pump, but I've had practice blowing things up before, so it didn't take too long. Here is my mom taking a whack at blowing up a root beer bottle. The art of blowing things up is not about your lips or lungs at all. Any blowing professional will tell you the secret lies in what you do with your hands. (Get your mind out of the gutter, please. I'm referring to squeezing the valve area which opens a flap designed to retain what air you manage to get inside. That way you aren't fighting the flap with your wind power and all the blowing energy accomplishes the goal much faster.
This year we were smarter than before (comes with old age I guess) in that we stopped and bought a paddle. It helped me feel a little more in control of the chair than previous years, though steering proved to be a fruitless endeavor. This is me just trying to get situated without flipping over (which happened, but later without the courtesy of film evidence). The Bear Lake photos usually act as a wake up call for my health. Can you believe how BIG I am? I don't suggest clicking on the picture of me as the size may crash your computer. Since we frequently go to Bear Lake for my birthday, I have a series of pictures that remind me how fat I've become.
The Good news: I'm just about as fat as I was in past years.
The Bad news: I'm just about as fat as I was in past years.
Overall, we had a great day playing in the water. The weather was absolutely perfect. Some years wind tries to blow away all the inflatables, but not this time. Due to an accident on the road, we arrived later in the day than usual, which was WONDERFUL. Most of the crowd had already left (or the gas prices kept them away in the first
place), so we didn't have to compete for a great spot. Even Dave, my brother-in-law, was getting into the fun. Although Rebecca enjoyed floating on the Root Beer bottle and with me on the chair, she largely enjoyed playing in the sand with Grandma.
Mom had a streak of "brave" and was determined to overcome her "drowning in 4 inches of water" incident of a few years ago that has since kept her off "floaty" items. She will not be pleased that I included this picture, but really, how could I have left it out? This picture is representative of mom's dedication and love for me. I'm sure she would have much preferred to spend the day at home digging out dandelions or doing laundry, but instead, wanted to make sure my birthday was
special and memorable. Thanks, mom.
As the sun was getting tired, we packed things up (key to deflation is again, not about lungs or lips, but about the hands). The warm shower felt SO good. I loved this shot of the sun shining on the wet beach. Thanks to all those who decided to go home so I could take the picture without people interruption. It was a quiet, solitude-filled moment that I enjoyed before the long ride home.
Do you remember all that nonsense earlier mentioned about being fat? And how the Bear Lake trip is a wake-up call for my health? Well, that started the next day when I actually looked at the pictures others had taken of me. Yes, I knew (and know) I'm big. Didn't need the picture to see that. My point is, even if I am too heavy for even the scale at my doctor's office (remember my recent visit due to a certain series of spider bites?), a trip to Bear Lake is NOT complete without stopping for a shake at the Quick '
N' Tasty. Many have conceded that a shake is required, but assumed I went for the famous Bear Lake raspberry shakes. No. Eww. Yes, the area is known for their raspberry everything (you should really go to their Raspberry Days celebration in early August, I think). On this trip, I tried buying a jar of raspberry jam, but it was sold out (no surprise there) so I ended up getting a bottle of the raspberry syrup. Awesome on French Toast (especially the way my friend, Josh makes them). But, I digress. So, we did stop for a shake. No, it wasn't raspberry. Instead, I go for the much less predictable Peanut Butter Cup. For those of you who really know me, that is no surprise, but I find a clever irony about NOT getting the raspberry shake when in the Bear Lake valley.
We lumbered back onto Michelle, Dave and Rebecca's street just a few minutes to midnight. What a fun filled day! Not wanting to let a moment of my birthday waste, we went in for cake and ice cream. Michelle and Rebecca picked out the cake. I love the whipped frosting. Unfortunately, I was very tired and my aim was a bit off. No, I didn't spit on the cake, but also failed to blow out all the candles (four, not 38 if you wondered) in one breath. I was largely out of breath after blowing up the floating chair. That and I still think they may have been trick candles. Anyway. It was a lovely gesture as they believe no one should have to buy their own birthday cake. Rebecca slept through the cake part, but then again, I think we all did. Did I mention the diet started the day afterwards? Birthdays are not a time for diets.
I dropped mom off in Woods Cross on the way home. Even though it was well after midnight by the time we arrived, my dad had stayed up waiting for us. While we were out and about all day playing, he had gone to get me some new clothes and wanted to help me celebrate. That was very thoughtful. Thanks, Dad.
This chapter of memory lane has been long and anyone making it thus far in one sitting should be commended. I didn't write it in one and I don't expect you to have read it in one. Maybe you lost interest about time we left the Gossner cheese factory. In any case, this blog has helped me relive the day over and over. It will hopefully afford those of you unable to attend in person the same opportunity. Thanks for reading about my special day.
Afterwards, I moved over to man the Utah Bears' booth. The Bears are a social group that appreciates gay men who do not fit the "GQ" stereotype. I certainly do not, so volunteering at their booth seemed a natural thing to do. Here is a picture of me in the booth having a great time with my new friends. I have also included a picture of Ron, 
Mr. Utah Bear, from Sunday's Pride parade. At Cyber-Slut Bingo in April, Ron grabbed me and asked if I had a good time. He invited me to Bear Coffee. I appreciate his enthusiasm. Incidentally, Ron and his partner, Todd (not pictured), are going to be married in September. They both have been incredibly welcoming to me and I wish them the absolute best. Thank you, California, for doing the right thing.
On Sunday morning, I marched in the Pride parade with Equality Utah. This is a group who is simply trying to make a fair and equal Utah, for everyone. Currently in Utah, homosexuals can be fired or denied housing simply for being gay. 
No questions asked. Gays are denied the right to marry the men and women we love and can not adopt children, even though the governor sent a plea out asking for more families willing to be foster parents. Many in the Legislature feel having a child in a homeless or other harrowing circumstances would be better than placing them in the home of two loving, well adjusted men or women. Do they think we would recruit them to be gay? Our own fabulous fashion conscious little army? Or worse, to molest them? Absurd. Anyone who would harm a child should be shot. Zero tolerance for child molesters. Zero.
Why should I not be equal with straight people? When did they choose to be straight? When did I choose to be gay? We didn't. We were born that way and anyone who thinks otherwise is plain ignorant. They may not realize they even know gay people. Well, honey, gay people are probably closer than you may think. We are not all limp-wristed fairies. We are caring, genuine and passionate people, just like you. Why shouldn't we all be equal? This is why I support Equality Utah and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). I had planned to help with HRC's booth on Sunday, but when I went to volunteer, they had more than enough volunteers, which was a wonderful thing. I did help with HRC's dinner the following week, but that will be discussed in a subsequent post.
Really, what more could I add to the dildo ring toss or the hot QUAC guys in their speedos dancing down the street? There is a series of three pictures at the end I call, "Where's Waldo?" I took them by turning a bit then turning some more as people made their way into the festival following the parade. They give an idea of just how many people were there.
Salt Lake Pride has grown significantly in the past 10 years I've been attending. I chose not to take a picture of the anti-gay protesters as this blog is not about promoting hate. Life isn't easy and we shouldn't go through it alone. We should celebrate love, regardless of who it is with (as long as they are adults, of course.) Most, but not all who come to Pride are gay. Last year, for example, I rode in the IHG float (well, truck pulling the float) with my straight friend, Marilee. We both had a wonderful time. I learned from volunteering at the Equality Utah booth that many are from out of town and some came from surrounding states. Incidentally, if you find Waldo, come on over to collect your prize. (He He He.) Enjoy. Thanks for sharing this year's Pride with me.
