Matt Damon on Sarah Palin

An Unusual Predicament

On the way home from the fish hatchery, we stopped for ice cream in Kamas. We usually stop at Dave's, a quaint little hamburger/ice cream stand that has awesome signs posted like, "This is NOT Burger King and NO, you can't have it your way." and "Everything is hand made to order, so if you want fast food, don't even order." AWESOME!!! Except that there were easily 100 people ahead of us in line, so we didn't stop there.

Instead, we went around the corner to the city drug store where they feature an old fashioned diner with stools and everything. The only other time I've been there was on the way home from scout camp when I was 12. I was riding home in the front of my Scoutmaster's truck squished between him and two other guys (seat belt laws were not quite what they are today). Jay wanted ice cream and since he was driving, we were forced to get two scoops, each being approximately the size of my head). SO GOOD. Until we were about 12 minutes outside of Kamas when I completely zonked out and ice cream melted all over everyone. Awe, good times.

This time, while waiting for our order (again, not known for their fast food), my dad eyed a very large (and yes, ugly) picture frame at the street yard sale we parked next to. To our horror, he bought the thing and thought it would be fun to pack it home in our already filled SUV. Michelle had just purchased the vehicle and didn't want the picture strapped to the top, so we tryied every which way to accomodate our new passenger. Dad didn't care about the picture, but needed the frame for some project (that I really hope doesn't involve my house). In the end, it just wouldn't work and the picture and ugly frame were both left in Kamas. Dad, who is never discouraged from finding room at home for another piece of junk offered to drive up the following Monday in his truck to collect the painting. Once my dad sets his mind to something, you might as well not even try stopping him (which includes becoming the self-proclaimed most loyal Wheel of Fortune and Price is Right home audience member of all time). We should have just kept on-a-going instead of stopping for ice cream (can you believe I just typed that?) since we went to the IHOP store for pancakes on our way home. We were all full from the ice cream (did I mention each scoop is about as big as my head?), but it was all part of Rebecca's birthday trip to the hotel (see previous posts) and she wanted IHOP. Now that she is five, she has already started planning her next birthday adventure. This year, she ended up with our celebrating her birthday throughout August (due to schedules and what not). I taught her well. =)

A Fishy Experience...

My regular groupies, meaning Rebecca's clan and Mom, recently toured the Kamas Fish Hatchery, operated by our good friends at the Department of Fish and Game or Wildlife or what have you. I guess they are not good friends, but I'd buy the guy an ice cream if we were ever to meet him hitchhiking on the road to the Dairy Queen.

Tours only run a few hours a day, Thursday - Sunday from Memorial Day to Labor Day. This means we have been there a time or two when we just missed the last tour of the day. This time, we arrived just prior to a tour start time and as luck had it, were in store for the treat of a private tour. We really don't like to share.

The nice older gentleman explained how they capture salmon, squeeze out their eggs, fertilize them with "cream," then sell the babies to other hatcheries that actually grow salmon. That accounts for a large part of their operating budget, apparently, which is large enough to stock many lakes in the Uintah Mountains with fish each year (mostly rainbow trout).

We learned about the horrible whirling disease that requires the facility protect itself like Fort Knox (in the old days, you could go any time and walk around the many pools of fish). Once a lake or stream has the disease, it is virtually impossible to get rid of it. It is easy to re-infect, so the 40 year natural life cycle of the disease frequently starts over. When I was younger, the Fish and Game people poisoned or bleached Strawberry Reservoir to kill the bad fish. Now it is a healthy, thriving body of water that provides year round recreation. We asked if something like that could be done for the whirling disease, but it can't. The disease is harder to contain as a stream's ecosystem is very complex and many other species could be harmed, whereas whirling disease only affects fish.

Once the fish are big enough, they are loaded into trucks like this one or onto airplanes. They drive by or fly over lakes and rivers and dump their loads. We even saw their elaborate system for loading the fish onto the truck. Quite the operation. If you'd like to see the fish species poster I earned for not bothering him with too many questions and not falling into the fish pools, accidentally or otherwise, just ask. It's colorful.


I will say the tour guide (my polite name for him) completely catered the tour to Rebecca. I didn't mind that so much since she is the cutest one of the lot and was even amused when he was caught off guard by her forthright nature. He explained why outsiders like ourselves can't feed the fish even though there were large pallets of food throughout our tour. Rebecca simply insisted on feeding the fish. She was polite, but firm in her resolve and he caved. He also caved after being initially taken aback when she held out her hand and said, "I'm going to hold your hand." Clearly outside of his routing, but he quickly adapted and as a result, even though a few weeks have passed since, she still talks about the visit and wants to show off her fish poster. It's the same cool, colorful fish poster I have, so we are really a matched set.

I have included a fish movie clip for you to get the full effect of the tour. That is just in case you drive all the way to Kamas and miss the tour by 20 minutes, which would still be a relaxing, beautiful drive even at $4.00 a gallon. The tour guide would excite the fish with food or by making faces or whatever without telling me, so by the time I had the camera recording, they were already settling down. Hopefully you can get an idea of what it was like, even still. Enjoy.

A Day at the Utah State Fair

The Utah State Fair ends today after it's annual 10-day run. I never go the last day because I fear it would be too depressing. The vendors who hoped to sell more realize their "big" days are in the past since this is Utah and the majority are somewhere else praying or passing the pot roast or something religious. The animals who endured sprucing up are let go to seed since tomorrow no one will care how great their coats are. Even the vegetables with that shiny coating of wax start to fade. This is why I stay home and enjoy the day in the only way I know how: naked.

Any who. There are a few rules that are followed religiously, unless I decide not to. Since I am a city boy (and a city girl on the 2nd Friday of each month), the fair is really my only opportunity to interact with livestock. The zoo only counts as half an interaction because we can't actually touch a bear or pet a tiger.

Rules for the fair

1) Touch a cow, a pig, a goat and a sheep. Extra points are awarded if they haven't shown the sheep yet and if they have "Please Do NOT Touch the Sheep" signs posted. This is another reason I don't go on the last day.
2) Eat a lemon pepper flavored corn on the cob. This is usually the only time I'll eat corn on the cob. At other times, when a cob is presented, I saw off the corn so I can eat it in a dignified manner. Some call this the old lady method, but I have issues with biting into a hot cob. At the fair, I just chow down on the corn without sawing. The lemon pepper butter sauce they slather on is SO good. This year, a pesky bee kept buzzing around, but I didn't let him have any. I really don't like to share. =)
3) Put our hands into the swirling hot tubs.
4) Visit the Wildlife building where my unintentionally parents left me when I was five years old. Smokey the Bear was shaking people's hands at the door as they entered. The live exhibits of Utah animals (rattlesnakes, rainbow trout and turtles mainly) was simply amazing. Meeting the famous bear was SO incredible that I had to shake his hand again, but since he was the entree act, I figured anyone who shook his famous hand was required to make at least a token appearance through the building's exhibits. I tried to hurry and I thought my parents had seen me, but they were long gone before I finished and exited the building. Bad parents? No. That's just what I get for growing up in a large family. They didn't realize my neurotic tendencies started so young. Luckily, we had established that if any of us were lost, we were to return to our car. After realizing I was gone and looking all over, my mother had a gut feeling to go back to the car. Mom first doubted that feeling because there were like 500 cars in the lot, but I wasn't as dumb as they thought. After the feeling practically hit her over the head that she needed to go to the car, she did. My mother hasn't ever been so happy to see me as she was that day. This year, unfortunately, the wildlife building was just a bunch of dumb poster displays and fliers. No animals and NO Smokey the Bear. At least Rebecca's parents didn't lose her while she fulfilled obligations brought on by hand shaking a famous bear.
5) Eat a corn dog. The fair corn dogs are awesome with extra fat injected in.
6) Tease a vendor into thinking you are interested in their product.
7) Take pictures of the butter sculpture.
8) Take a tour of the hand-crafted arts building and say, "I'm better than that. Where's my blue ribbon?" at least 14 times, promising to race home and start crafting tomorrow for next year's fair. Of course, I never do, so next year I'll have something to complain about.
9) Look through the county exhibits and complain about why Salt Lake County's exhibit (the capitol and host county) either sucks or why, like this year, SLC County didn't bother to even submit an entry. I bet Peter Corroon, SLC County Mayor, walked through and mumbled, "We're better than that. Where's our blue ribbon?" I'd tell him the same thing I tell myself, "You need to be in it to win it." If I see him on his re-election drive, I won't ask about the soccer stadium or fiscal responsibility. For me, it's all about showing up the other counties. Or is that showing down the other counties? Not sure, but I'm annoyed all the same.
10) Count all the people who are heavier than I am. This may sound cruel, but it is one of the few things that boosts my self esteem. Even on my fattest day, there is a good bet that at least 147 heavier people (this year's number) are trudging or wheeling themselves on scooters through the fair. Seriously, we could group together and create our own parade. We'd better not, though, because the moment we started, people would probably boo and start throwing things at us like corn dogs and funnel cakes and we all know that would be the end of the parade. For those of you who know me, only counting 147 fat people really bugs me. I'm all about achieving a cool number. I know there were at least 3 people who were fatter than I am who didn't get counted this year. They were probably sobbing behind the sheep building after realizing there were corn dogs available for $3.00 when they just paid $5.50 for one. Can you believe it? $5.50 for ONE corn dog? I can get a whole box for $3.00 at the Wal Mart store, but that's a depression kicking trip I save for other parts of the year.

This year, I went with Rebecca and her parents, Michelle and Dave. We had a great time with all the above rules. Rebecca was our resident cow toucher, but I was first in line to pet the pigs, goats and sheep (no sign, so only standard points). The animals all had uniquely putrid smells; much worse than past years. That is why Rebecca is holding her nose in the pig and sheep pictures. Seriously, would a couple of Airwick Stick-Up's and a can of Febreeze break the State's budget? Come on! They are probably on sale, even. Or better yet, get enough for next year and maybe they will give a volume discount. We were pleased to see stations of hand sanitizer at the exits to the various barns. Of course, the smell made us want to bathe and gargle with it, but we lived (in case you wondered).

We annoyed a magic marker sales lady who thought for sure she had at least one sale and maybe two. The pens were really cool in that they would change color when another pen ran on top of them, or disappeared all together. Friends could write secret messages to one another with the "invisible" ink. But, she wanted $24 for a pack and that was my entire net worth at the time.

Rebecca rode a pony and genuinely looked happy doing it. I tried years ago and the horse tried to eat me not once or twice, but three times. This time, I stayed on the outside of the fence. A few years ago, Rebecca's interest in riding a pony instantly dissolved when she was put onto the tame creature. Her screaming made me wonder if we were still shopping at the WalMart store. This year, she was easily the cutest little girl there.

The butter sculpture was really cool this year. It seems they have finally shrugged off the Winter Olympics themed butter sculptures. Although impressive and yes, we all enjoy a sentimental journey down memory lane, it was six years ago and I'm glad we have finally moo'ved on (little cow humor there). I have included the picture this year's sculpture was based on. It doesn't show, but they added broken eggs (shells in one section and below, a perfectly shaped egg white/yolk). You can see the spilling gallon of milk (buttermilk, I guess you'd say) they added on the right by the cat. I'm super impressed.

This year something new was introduced, which is extremely rare since the Fair has been "just add water to last year's mold" for decades. They had a hands on discovery farm exhibit for the kids. Rebecca gathered corn from the grain silo, fed it to the cow, then milked said cow. She then went on to gather seeds, plant them, then harvest her tomato (other kids planted/harvested onions and carrots). She picked an apple from an orchard, drove a tractor and sheered a sheep. Rebecca then took the products of her labor to market where she sold them to a distributor who gave her a State Fair dollar bill. From there, she went to a grocery store and bought food (an apple) with the newly earned money. This hands on approach to teaching kids how things get on their plate was incredible. I wish they had that exhibit when I was a kid.

I'm including a short movie of Dave and Rebecca going down the big slide. I was dumb and turned the camera thinking I could simply rotate the image later. Nope. Sorry. =( So, kindly turn your head. If you are afraid of turning your head, then feel free to watch the movie sideways.

Killers vs. The Killers

A few weeks back, my good friend, Josh, posted a blog about going to a concert with his friend, Christine. The Killers were in concert and he was all excited to go. For those who know me, I'm musically illiterate unless it has been on Broadway or in a movie. Ok, so that is probably going a bit far, but it is no understatement to say I'm musically challenged at best.

Valuing Josh's opinion about most things, and seeing the potential for becoming a more well rounded person (without the aid of chocolate), I decided to trust his judgment and take a listen. Although I had never even heard of a group called The Killers, I trusted Josh wouldn't get so excited to go see anything too bizarre. =) I went to my library web site and typed in "Killers." This brought up one album by Iron Maiden, which I consider devil music. Golly, just look at the picture. That's devil music for sure. But, since Josh was SO pro-Killers, I requested it. I had to wait a week or so since many other people wanted to hear the album as well. That was a good sign, I figured, meaning Josh must be on to something.

Before it arrived, I mentioned my enthusiasm for broadening my musical horizons to a co-worker I thought would be well educated in music outside the realm of Broadway. Ben suggested I cancel the library request since he was pretty sure Josh didn't mean "Killers" by Iron Maiden. He said there is a group called The Killers. If Josh had gone to the Killers tour of Iron Maiden, Ben thought the name Iron Maiden would have come up at least once in Josh's blog, which it didn't. So, I put on my research hat and quickly realized I had devil music on the way for no good reason. Unfortunately, it was too late as the album was already in transit. (Eww, that efficient library staff.)

I found The Killers had two albums in the library holdings. Sam's Town and Sawdust. The good thing was all three albums became available on the same day. First, I gave a listen to the Iron Maiden, figuring my history of LDS contemporary and Broadway soundtracks could use some intellectual broadening. Actually, from the cover, I was ready to hate it and had to listen just to be fair. I don't want people to think of me as a judgmental bitch. So, I hated most of the album and hope to never be subject to devil music again. However, I found that I really liked the first track, The Ides of March. It is mostly instrumental and doesn't have that "I'd rather be shoving an ice pick in my eye than listen to any more" quality the rest of the album carries. I suggest renting the album from the library just for that track. Don't look at the pictures, though, especially the one behind the CD, as you may need to go talk to your Bishop afterwards.

Needless to say (but I'm saying it anyway), the two albums from The Killers proved to be less mentally jarring. They have a sound that proved easier to swallow than Iron Maiden and on the second listen, I have started to really like some of the songs. Mr. Brightside and Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf are among my favorite. I can certainly see why Josh likes this music and would have enjoyed their concert.

I feel more musically literate for having taken a listen and suggest you do as well. I haven't yet, but will try to update my playlist with a few of their songs in the next few days. Until then, pop on over to Josh's blog (link on the right side of my blog). He has added a few songs (Including Mr. Brightside) to his playlist. Enjoy! Let me know what you think of the music.

The Corrupt Shall Offend No More...

My Voice has been silenced.
My Protests left unheard.
My Screams for mercy ignored.
My Shouts for justice fall gracefully on deaf ears.

The vile stench comes pouring out and corrodes all it touches.

I feel as though my soul has been raped and left for dead.
I am a shell only resembling the past.

I am dead inside.