Some February Lovin' from Miss Shirley D. Licious...

February 13th was the latest excursion for Miss Shirley D. Licious of the Utah Cyber-Sluts. Our charity bingo night was to raise funds for the Children's Box House, which I believe is similar to the Ronald McDonald House. It was also my good friend Paul's birthday. He asked that I not embarrass him by mentioning it was his birthday to the other sluts. Paul and Lynda's support is invaluable on bingo night and throughout the month, so I held my tongue. Paul was nice enough to allow a couple of pictures together. Here, you'll notice the lovely red heart necklace my friend, Dixie, let me borrow (Thanks, Dixie) and how horrible the makeup turned out. Well, to be fair, the make up was fine until the flood of sweat washed it away. Not sure if it was just Shirley going through "the change with a wicked hot flash, or if the velvet dress in the blazing inferno of a community center contributed. I'm pretty sure I lost 3 pounds in sweat that night.
In the end, it was announced that we had raised $1,775 and donations as people left were suggested to help them "round up" to $1,800. Total donations came to $2,175, which made us very happy.


This is Fonda Dixx. She is doing an awesome job as current Madame. LOVE the hair.


The picture is dark, but I'm calling a bingo game. Actually, a really cute guy had just stood up to spin without raising his hands over his head or doing the "jazz hands" effect. Considering the prize he was about to win was valued at nearly $100, I had to stop the show and make him spin again. Jazz hands, dammit, are required. Oh, and I called him a bitch for resisting, which went over well with the crowd.


Party fouls have become SO much fun. This guy is a really good sport about them, often getting multiple fouls in one night. Here he is wearing the pink "Marge Simpson" wig of shame, which is so nasty I don't even like to carry the thing to the offender's head let alone wear it. Not sure, but his frequent offenses may have something to do with his idea that people can only donate by shoving the dollar bills in his pants instead of his hands. More than a couple went in for change. We don't require that, but damn, if it didn't make some wonderful eye candy. Yum.

Another of our "regulars" was slow cookin' the pizza and we had to strip him down. Sorry gay guys and ladies, but I did not get pictures of that. The mental image of his nice ass has been enough to keep me satisfied for over a week now. So, use your imagination and you are probably close. He was a good sport, which we as sluts really appreciate.


This is Katherine Heartburn being as fabulous as ever. I love the shiny dot sparkling through from her boob. That and the hair. LOVE the hair.


This is the night before. My boy, G, is taking the picture and enjoying the show. November's fiasco taught me the value of a "dry run" to make sure I had all the costume pieces together. I didn't bother with the stockings or flip/flops, but the rest was pretty much spot on. The lovely handbag was donated by my good friend Pati. It is black velvet to match my exquisite dress. Thanks, Pati.


Here I am trying to add volume to the wig with hairspray and my trusty comb. Next month, I need serious help with my hair and make-up.

Shirley and her groupies. This was Jaime and Pati's first time, Sanna's second and I can't even count how many times Lynda has come. Each month more and more people from work hear how much fun it is and they make plans to come. Our group already fills one long table. Getting there early is no longer optional to get a seat.

Here is another picture with Paul; this time more of a full length view. It kind of looks like a pant-suit combo, but no. It was a long, luxurious black velvet dress with a fabulous sparkle top accented by a barrage of red feathers, sparkle glasses, heart earrings and a heart necklace. Down below, you can barely see the red/black stripe stockings and, unfortunately, can not see the jewel-encrusted pink flip-flops from the Walmart store that have become a staple in Shirley's wardrobe. Hair design by my good friend, Pati.

Next month's bingo will be on Friday, March 13th at 7:00 PM. Columbus Community Center. Our new sponsor, Overstock.com, will be bringing the prizes and funds raised will support the Lupus Foundation of Utah. Theme: Mardi Gras. I went shopping yesterday for beads and love them so much that I just couldn't resist. Even though today is another "naked Sunday," it is technically "naked Sunday with beads. Hope to see all of you next month.

Which one are you?

This cartoon was passed around work the other day and it made me laugh and then made me wonder. The poor swimmer thinks he is going to help someone and will soon find he has been deceived and will himself need assistance.

Those sharing a certain circumstance with me will understand when I say we feel like the swimmer carrying on dangerously close to a situation we will not approve of later. Those in another circumstance with me just now will understand how I feel a bit like the shark or others may say the proverbial spider to the fly. I won't bore you with the details of either as it may incriminate me and/or those I associate with. But, you know who you are and none of this should be a mystery. So, please enjoy the cartoon as much as I did.

Celebrate love wherever it is found...

A Valentine's Day wish from Suze Orman

Schadenfreude

This video was passing around work yesterday and I just couldn't help but laugh and say, "Holy Crap" except I didn't say crap. So much for good Samaritans. Sometimes work pressures and money woes make a good laugh as valuable as gold. I really needed this laugh when it came.

The Germans have a word to describe my taking pleasure at this guy's misfortune: Schadenfreude. I was first introduced to that word by listening to the soundtrack to the Broadway musical, Avenue Q (track 16)
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Even though Avenue Q robbed Wicked of the Best Musical Tony award, meaning I'll be forever bitter, I would still like to see it some day. It deals with a lot of real-life issues in blunt ways others merely cower at like Schadenfreude, masturbation and internet porn, everyone being a little bit racist, the sensuality of aging strippers and people you love who turn out to be complete bastards. The fine people who bring Broadway to Salt Lake have commented that this show is to adult in nature for the local audience. The same thing robbed us of the touring Sweeney Todd last year for the awful Annie (remember my review about fat orphans and wrinkled sets?). So, if any of you would like to go to New York or another city not afraid to grab its balls and admit they have people who would like to see such a such, let me know.

From the bottom of the Hudson...

These are four of about 25 shots emailed to me about the recent efforts to raise the downed airplane from the bottom of the Hudson River.


The water is a nasty shade of brown that I really hope is just from all the stirred up sediment. Some of the later shots that didn't make the cut showed huge ice chunks floating in the river. Going down in the river and then having to stand out on the wing waiting for rescue while hoping the boat arrived before the plane sunk must have been terrifying. The fact that no one was killed simply amazes me. The pilot and crew did an incredible job thinking fast under pressure. No wonder they were honored at the recent inauguration and at the Super Bowl yesterday. It would have been nice to also see a picture of the people all standing on the wing, but these pictures came about the plane's recovery. I'm sure a Google search would provide you the rescue pictures if you'd like.

I am reminded of the time just over 10 years ago now when my parents and I went to Hawaii. By the time the safety announcement had gotten to the point of saying, "A portion of this flight may be over water" I had already watched the friendly, safe shores of California slip away. I'm thankful we didn't have to go through what those passengers did, and even more thankful to not have been eaten by a shark. This won't stop me from flying as I have friends now in Germany that I'd really like to see again. On the contrary, it gives me hope and faith. The talented pilot and crew took care of this set of passengers, just as I would trust my future captains and flight crew to take care of me. Not every plane that crashes kills everyone. That is a myth. In some circumstances, death can't be avoided and if I'm ever on one of those flights, let's hope the end comes quickly. This is an example of where we need to trust in the bigger picture; trusting that we may not always be in control, but accepting the outcome all the same. As we never know when our end will come, I at least plan to work a little harder to make the time I've been given more valuable and rewarding; rewarding to me if not to everyone else as well.

Switching to all Digital.

This sure feels like me when something goes wrong and I can't just push the start button. Internet and computer savvy as far as they have "dumbed" down the technology. Luckily, I have satellite television (hooked up by someone else), so this won't happen to me in a few weeks.