Children of the Corn

WELCOME TO WESTFEST 2009

WestFest is our annual celebration that commemorates
the establishment of West Valley City and recognizes
its citizen's various cultural backgrounds.

---------------------

The above information was listed on the official web site for WestFest (http://www.westfest.org/westfest2009.html). In addition to the fireworks, there are carnival rides (which I NEVER ride on for lack of trust in their safety regulations. Don't want to be the next victim on those "Tragedy Caught on Camera" television shows.), local entertainment and both food and retail vendors. Essentially, it is a scaled-down version of the State Fair without the cows. I've been attending WestFest every year since moving down the street nearly seven years ago and semi-regularly before then when my brother lived downt the street in the opposite direction. This is not to brag, but I know what I'm talking about when it comes to WestFest. You could call me a WestFexpert, but I wish you wouldn't.

To support the local community, I went after work on opening night. As I approached the first talent stage, I could hear the musical styling of Josiah Barlow. He was a solo act on stage with just an electric piano. The music was a beautiful mix of non-verbal classical and contemporary sounds that reminded me of listening to a movie score. Not bad for a West Valleyite. He was really attractive, which only added to my entertainment pleasure. Sorry, but wishing I had brought my camera did not generate one photo. I enjoyed his music so much that when he said a particular song had been dedicated last year to his unborn child and how he wanted to now re-dedicate it to his baby who was here to enjoy it just before her first birthday, I didn't cringe in the remorse of crushed fantasy, nor did I whisper, "Damn Breeder" under my breath. He was really good and suggested I (meaning an invitation to the crowd) buy a CD. Wish I had, frankly, but I couldn't stay until the end of the show (my e-crops were about to wilt, but that is another story). Really good and the music varied in style.

I left Josiah with one more empty chair in a sea of unfulfilled expectation, wondering why more people hadn't cared enough to come out to see him play. My hunger from not having eaten all day quelled my guilt and I toddled off toward the food vendors. Mistake # 1. I should have stayed. Vendors selling carnival-type food from pizza, cotton candy, BBQ, slushy fruit drinks lined two sides of a tent with tables and chairs. One such booth sold hot dogs, hamburgers and corn dogs. Love me a good corn dog at the Fair, so I stopped, which proved to be mistake # 2. When I saw the corn dogs were the same Foster Farms corn dogs I sometimes buy at Wal Mart with the exception that these people planned to deep fry them in luke-warm grease instead of a hot grease-free oven, I chose the cheeseburger instead. $7 for a cold "let's hope this is meat" patty with a slice of cheese on a bun. No lettuce, tomato, pickles. They gave me some off-name mayo and catsup packets, some fries cooked in the same luke-warm grease and a Dr. Pepper (the only part of the "meal" I enjoyed).

As this was getting later in the evening, WestFest traffic was very light. I thought about heading back to Josiah, but didn't want to juggle the plate in my lap. Mistake # 3. I sat in the tables in the middle of the booths and tried to quickly swallow the most expensive regret I've had in a long while. The food was bad enough to make me completely re-think the idea of supporting the community. But wait, there's more. Instead of being deep within the booth as the two culinary criminals were before my poorly thought out purchase, the one thing that could have made the experience worse happened. All memory of daylight had slipped behind the western sky and the light in the tent above my table illuminated the scene with what felt like a spot light. Suddenly my eating disaster became every one's business. Luckily, the only two who cared to watch (more like stare with utter fascination) were the two who sold me the gruel. They had come out of their booth and planted themselves in front staring straight ahead at me. One sat. One stood. Once positioned, their bodies never moved. Their heads did not turn, nor, for all I could tell, did their eyes blink. It was seriously creepy. An image from the horror film, "Children of the Corn" came to mind, though I only saw the trailer. I thought about shoving the food back in their faces and demanding a refund, but it was carnival food, so what did I expect? Of course, what had seemed lack-luster in all the other booths just moments before suddenly looked like gold covered in chocolate.


Note to the Corn Children: Were you staring to see if I would actually eat that crap you made me pay so much for? When I finished it, did one of you win a bet? Were you just amazed that someone actually ate your food without throwing up? Maybe it would improve your sales if you didn't come across as demon children. At least have the decency to look away when people struggle to put down the last bite. You may have seen a calm fat gay man on a rickety chair enjoying your fabulous creation. From MY side of the table, it felt like an eating scene from Fear Factor with a side order of evil.

We're ready for your close up, Mr. Kotter

Cue the theme song music, "Welcome back...Welcome back...Welcome back..."



Growing up, I was a fat adult in training and as such, watched my share of television. Even as old as I have recently become, I can still sing pieces (never the whole) of theme songs ranging from the Love Boat, Laverne and Shirley, Beverly Hillbillies, Happy Days, All in the Family, The Jeffersons, and, of course, Welcome Back, Kotter. Watching a young John Travolta in tight jeans and hippie hair was always a thrill to a deeply closeted boy, but I digress.

This blog was created about 15 months ago and has been something I have really enjoyed. Writing is a passion I never seem to find time or enough concentration for and this blog was a convenient avenue to pop on and share my thoughts. I regularly featured stories about me, about me as Shirley D. Licious at Cyber-Slut Bingo and about my family, especially my niece, Rebecca, with whom I used to share regular interaction with.

In the fall of 2008, however, as the fight for California's Prop 8 started, as a member of the gay community whose rights (future, though they may be) were indirectly being debated, I felt an obligation to voice my opinion and help educate some of the well-meaning, but ignorant people. My theory was that many supporters who actually read my blog may have blindly followed an anti-gay position without realizing their actions (direct donations or otherwise) were hurting someone they knew and loved. Many homosexuals I know are afraid to stand up and be counted. Without the world knowing I'm here and I deserve the same rights as everyone else, how can the law makers know how important this issue is? For this reason, I do not shrink down and cower back into the closet just because others may not agree with my being gay. I did NOT choose to be gay and honestly ask who would? As many can attest, it is not easy to be part of a minority (especially here in Utah), but that does not change the fact that I am gay. To the surprise of some, being gay is not all about sex with other boys. Even if I never touched another man sexually again, I would still be gay. The straight community sometimes doesn't realize there is more to a person than what they do with their poles and holes. If anything, sex among gay people is the ONLY thing we have in common with straight people. If you need further explanation, let me know. I'll be glad to draw you a picture.

When I started adding news stories to the blog that either enraged or excited me about the ignorance/open mindedness some influential people were demonstrating, a very negative, and frankly surprising, response happened both on the blog and off. I do not expect everyone to agree with all of my views, but I do hope they will read them with an open mind. Just because something has been done a certain way for a very long time does not make it right. Discrimination on any level is bad. My blog generated a level of hate and treachery very close to home that scared me. True colors were flown for the first time in the decade since I first came out. The blind ignorance some insist on despite blatant evidence to the contrary is nothing short of baffling.

With this very ugly reaction to my blog, I purposefully slowed down and then stopped posting all together a few months ago. Well, I'm back, Mr. Kotter. I'm back. Part of my 2009-2010 birthday "to-do" list is to become much more prolific in the pen (or keyboard) and to hopefully be published soon. Can't promise every day, but I can promise to be brutally honest with a sense of personification. If I feel passionate about something, you can be sure to read about it here. I encourage feedback, both positive and negative. I encourage open communication and feel the world would be a much better place if secrets and lies were brought out in to the open. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.